Preparing for Goodbye

I've been mentally preparing myself, to the best of my ability, and with prayer, for the day Kayla is no longer with us, just because she's getting old, has Cushings, and has difficulty walking for about the last eight months. Now that I know she has lymphoma and will be leaving us sooner than I was hoping, it's really hitting me how much I have depended, and still depend, on her.  She taught the younger dogs manners and even some tricks, just by doing them herself.  Her deep, scary bark has thwarted home robberies. I know this because many of my neighbors have been robbed.  When we go for walks, Kayla is the one I ask for direction and she takes us where she wants to go.

I remember the first day, 9 years ago..maybe 10, driving to Pasco county to get her from a free online ad from a website, the name of which I don't even remember anymore.  She was fine when I got there, at least I thought so, till I got her home and saw she had a 3 inch injury running down the top of her paw (she kept licking it and it took months to heal.)  She was sick as a dog (pun intended) that night. I figured they gave her Benadryl before I got there.  I put her on the bed with me because I thought she was going to die that night. I was surprised when she couldn't jump, then found out she had very limited use of her back legs for some reason. I kept waking her up thinking she stopped breathing.  That's when I started spoiling her. giving her food because she was 20 lbs underweight, She was so weak, I could take her for walks without a leash and not worry about her running off, until I knew she was better about 4-5 weeks later when she saw a squirrel.

I wrote a song for her

She's my Kayla girl
She's the best girl in the world
She like a chase a squirrel,
cus she's my Kayla girl.

Kayla got a doggie habit
she like a chase a rabbit
You know she's gonna catchit
cus she's my Kayla girl.

She is always so happy when I sing that song, she prances around....

Last night we all played, Kayla played with her favorite squirrel toy, just like always.

I'm not saying goodbye yet, but I'm getting ready to.
                                                                 

                                                      Kayla today - blissfully ignorant

                                                 
      Kayla in her younger days